The State of Mind of Play

 I have been convinced to write this through the encouragement of my niece Adrienne Dawn Gillis and my husband. Also for my grandson Shane Jaynes who I took under my wing and showed him different states of mind at an early age so if he applied them, he could use those states to grow.  The main one was what I called “Play” as a child. Which is the mind's eye tuning and reflecting quietly upon itself, not being pulled in one direction or another, but quietly resting in, that in which is the same. An impartial viewer, quietly standing alone, giving itself up now, to the seer, instead of what is seen, becoming - what it is.  Because once achieved any number of experiences are at your finger tips.


When I was about four something unthinkable happened to me.  My mind kept going back to the incident.  I did not want it to happen again so I didn’t want to forget what had happened, so I kept it close in my thoughts but then again my mind kept going back to it.  It was painful to remember. I thought I could just stop my thoughts.  Seeing that was not going to happen and being very stubborn I decided to simply watch my thoughts. This worked in the sense that when the thought came up I got to choose if I reexperienced it or not. I also noticed that the longer I held just watching my thoughts the quieter they became. Until I could just walk around with no thoughts at all, as I practiced this I started to speak less to the point on more than one occasion my jaw actually hurt from not speaking for days on end. Luckily for me being in a large household no one noticed me not speaking and I stayed away from the family as much as possible.  Hiding in tall trees, overgrown grape vines and out in the field where I could see someone was present and could avoid contact.  I eventually started to rejoin the family but at any time I could separate myself out and quieting my thoughts could once again return those states of mind.  I would call this state of being “Play” because once I reached this state of mind only good things would happen, I was truly happy here.


When I was around 5-6 years of age I would go out into the field in order to feel safe from anyone interrupting me in my play.  I took a screen and a cup.  I would set in the dirt and sift it through the screen making a fine powder of dirt. As I went through the process of sifting the dirt.  I would feel the warmth of Mother Earth feeling close to her,  see the mica flex glittering in the sun and admiring the beauty of such a sight and feeling the silkiness of Mother Earth on my fingertips.  I was in a state of joy. I felt beauty within and also without.  As I was feeling this I looked up at the beautiful blue sky.  Suddenly I felt at one with everything and everything was me, I felt as though I was being drawn up into the heavens, as I was letting go of everything, giving myself up to this new reality letting anything other than it drop away. As I sat in a state of bliss afterwards being quiet for a while no thoughts just enjoying the moment.  Then a thought came in “god is in everything” then more thoughts came in “so god is in every grain of sand”.  At this point I had to let it go because my head was about to explode with the imagery of hundreds of thousands grains of sand.  So this is what happens when thoughts come in and interrupt the state of mind bringing it back down to the physical. Prior to thinking god was in everything I was in a state of bliss and this one thought brought it back down to the physical.


I was probably about six years of age.  I was walking through the back yard at the time we lived on about 4-5 acres. The air was still and crisp. I was feeling the morning sun on my body feeling warm inside the sun had not been up long.  I climbed upon the back of a trailer and sat upon the thin edge facing a tall overgrown tree that its leaves were so full they touched the ground, seeing how beautiful the tree was so green and full. While admiring its beauty I let everything drop away and became one with the tree. Suddenly I became aware that the sun was going down. Didn’t quite understand what had happened. All I knew was my butt did not hurt from sitting there all day.  I jumped down like nothing happened feeling good yet puzzled how I could have sat there all day. 


In both of these memories I had an experience of becoming one with something after being in a state of mind of Play. As a child I entered into the state by just simply remembering it and bringing it into the present moment so I could play. I have to admit I find it humorous now that I am grown but it was simply my reality then.


If anyone has any questions I would be more than happy to answer them. You can contact me directly at. spiritwoman4.blogspot.com@gmail.com

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